July 11, 2019

wherein lille starts a mailing list without being stalky

I understand, here, now.  I understand why so many bloggers take a break from writing.  Some of them say it's to pursue other endeavors.  Not me.  I just feel like the well has run dry.  I know it's in me, somewhere, but I need to wait until the waters are high again.

So I'm taking a break.  I'm not sure how long this will need to be, this break, but I know that I have some readers out there whose names I'll never know.  I'm not leaving you in the dust.  I've added a form on the right ... please shoot me an e-mail with a way to let you know when I pick this back up.  Most say the RSS is hinky, so I don't trust it.  Hit me up.  I'll get back to you.

In the meantime, could someone please tell the Universe to stop being so weird?  Much-appreciated.

Lille

July 2, 2019

baby doll heads per square inch

I don't typically do montage posts, but today will be the exception.  During our annual trek to Georgia, our sister-in-law took P.J. and me out junking at antique stores in the area.  Add to the baseline kitsch-saturated exhaustion such an activity normally brings the fact that we were within a few miles of Cleveland, Georgia, birthplace of the Cabbage Patch Doll Menace.  The ground water is tainted.  It seeps and leaches and affects all surrounding things. 

Thus, the find rate of horrible, mutated nightmare fuel objects in nearby antique stores, measured in BDH/i(2), or baby doll heads per square inch, is alarmingly high.

Sometimes the baby doll heads are just sitting there minding their own business.




Sometimes they have pine cones growing out of them at strange angles.




Some of them are strategically placed to remind you that It is nearby and controls all life in Its vicinity and you'd better bounce the ball and skip rope in rhythm or you'll be brought to the cabbage patch in the capital city and Reprogrammed.



And sometimes they're advertised as having anatomy and/or value as a video game console accessory, when neither of those is true.




The BDH/i(2) affects other objects, too.  Sometimes it makes people paint and sew things onto otherwise perfectly ordinary objects.

Perfectly ordinary pottery pitcher.


Perfectly ordinary chef rabbit with plugged nostril and paint
cancer, together with petrified squirrel desperate to escape.


Perfectly ordinary naked child squatting in a perfectly
ordinary, organic, return-to-the-earth position.


Perfectly ordinary purse destined to burn in A.Z. Fell's Bookshop.


Perfectly ordinary resurrected fairy zombie watching
with lust as an unidentifiable stone animal makes
unsuccessful attempts to lick its own nipple.


And a hat tip to an object that is probably immune to the high BDH/i(2) in the shop but that nevertheless is full of Win:  I give you the Stealth Cam.

No one will ever know it's there.