June 2, 2019

i'm not running from destiny or anything else

Me:  "Hey, have you poured enough coffee into your temple yet?"

P.J.:  "What's 'enough coffee'?"

Me:  "Enough to help your system absorb, say, something disturbing."

P.J.:  "I'm reading the news, aren't I?"

Me:  "Yeah.  Um, I need to tell you something."

P.J.:  "Let me take another pull at the coffee.  This sounds ominous."

Me:  "Okay.  This is hard.  Um.  Okay, you know I said I was going to go walking this morning, because it would still be cool, since I took yesterday as my day off."

P.J.:  "Yeee-eees?"

Me:  "I did.  I went walking.  I went up through town and got a lot of steps in.  And it was nice and cool.  Lovely, really.  A little breeze w-- "

P.J.:  "When do you get to the part that requires the necessity of coffee?"

Me:  "I'm getting there.  I'm getting there.  So, yeah.  I was walking ... "

P.J.:  "You said that."

Me:  "... and I crossed the street after I passed the Methodist church, because I wanted the people pulling into the parking lot to see me smiling, so they would know that I was happier not having to sit in a stuffy Sunday School classroom and -- "

P.J.:  "Lille .... "

Me:  "Okay.  Fine.  So I crossed the street and I was in front of the old mill, the part that's a coffee shop now, and, um ... I mean, there was a good song on, and ... I, um, sort of started jogging."

P.J.:  *spews coffee across dining room*

Me:  "It was just for a short distance, I promise!  Just to the grocery store, right there.  It wasn't far!"

P.J.:  "It's happening."

Me:  "NO!  It's not happening.  I swear.  It's not!"

P.J.:  "You're going to be one of them.  You're turning into a runner."

Me:  "I am not a runner!  I'm not!  It just happened, I don't know why, I think I was wondering if it would make the steps go faster, my body did it on its own, I didn't get tired like I normally w-- "

*slaps hand over mouth, eyes wide with horror*

P.J.:  "See?  See?  'The lady doth protest too much, methinks.'  I knew it.  I knew this would happen."

Me:  "Is it a disease?  Is this a disease process?  You hear about it all the time.  But I didn't even enjoy it.  I didn't.  I promise I'm going to only walk from now on.  No jogging bits in there."

P.J.:  "You just said 'bits'.  That's plural."

Me:  "Um.  It hypothetically might have happened twice."

P.J.:  "Oh my god.  That's day four of 'couch potato to 5K'.  Oh, fuck.  You're lost."

************

None of that happened.

Except the jogging.

7 comments:

  1. err...ok......I've given this some thought - after I cleaned off the computer screen...and the thought is this....where is MY Lille and what have you done with her??!!??

    My Lille knows that jogging (after the age of eight) is incredibly bad for knee joints, hip joints, ankle joints and any other sort of joints (apart from the smoking joints - which ain't good for anything except possibly easing the pain of jogging).

    Walking is good, sprinting is ok.ish… if you're trying to get out of a really bad thunderstorm. I'd even accept the occasional skipping (usually performed to avoid falling flat on one's own face) - but not jogging - cease and desist immediately - you're causing untold damage.

    However, I do have to say that I'm glad to hear you didn't get as tired as you would normally do - which only proves the point that WALKING is good for you.

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    Replies
    1. Well, Your Majesty, so long as I've been *properly* fussed out, that's all right, then. :)

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  2. LOL! Yesss, join ussss, we are Legion

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  3. Replies
    1. The Joggers, of course. Didn't you know you've made friends with a jogger who draws purple chinchillas?
      If it's any consolation, I can't run worth a shit. You could walk alongside me and not lose breath.

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    2. William Tell Overture. I dare you.

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