May 7, 2019

please don't let anybody see me

I would have titled this post "what the fuck is wrong with people?" but that's unoriginal because the question has been asked - justifiably - many, many times by other bloggers.

I wasn't just hiding my right thumb today.  I was wincing each time a car passed by on my canopied road, fervently hoping that it wasn't a co-worker who would notice me and report me to our press guy and then I'd be in the newsletter with a surreptitious picture the co-worker took with their phone and there would be heaps of praise and, worse, attention.

I wanted to be the invisible person from our bathroom.

I did what I never followed through on last fall.  I only cleaned up the part in the shade, where the trees begin in earnest and where there's less traffic.  My beloved, beautiful stretch of road.  And it's a good thing, because I filled up the trash bag with things that made me very glad I was wearing my new cheap-ass gardening gloves.

The worst part was walking outside by the windows of my department's offices when I was finished.  Scurrying is more like it.  Just past that bit is where the dumpster is located.

If someone kicked off a really random scavenger hunt that looked something like this ....

- A full length of unraveled cassette tape
- A rear wheel from an old wheelchair
- A plastic hotel room key card with MARSHALL written on the back in Sharpie
- Four used hot sauce packets lying in perfectly-measured equal intervals
- One of those foam things you use to separate your toes when painting your nails
- The hand-turn wheel piece from a Sit 'n' Spin

... I would win that summabitch.

Yes, really!  A Sit 'n' Spin.  Most of this was like the 1980s threw up all over the street, except for the hot sauce packets, which looked to be of recent vintage. 

The wheelchair wheel wouldn't fit in the bag.


  1. It is one of my few secret shames about living in Dublin. The Pogues have it spot on when they sang Dirty Old Town.

    Google suggested 'Pogoes', 'Pegues' and 'Rouges' instead of Pogues - WTF?

    1. What's the shame, the litter or picking it up? I didn't think that when I was walking through that neighborhood that you explicitly told me not to walk through.

    2. The litter - not picking it up. The only time I go to great lengths to pick up litter is when I'm on the beach and I see broken glass - that really bugs me, 'cause I think of all those bare feet and folk trying to get to a hospital for stitches.

      I'm not saying anything about you walking through that area - just zipping it here :)

  2. David Sedaris would be proud! Give a hoot, don't pollute! :>D

  3. Excellent work! Put all that 80's back in the dumpster where it belongs.