September 4, 2018

days of being

... the days when my mind is jerky, blurred, when it fidgets within my skull ....

... the days when writing is out of reach because nothing can take my mind's hand and lead it down a path ....

... the days when thinking is impossible and gray and the steering wheel is slippery ....

... the days when anhedonia breaks joy and enjoyment and I cannot muster the will to begin to piece the shards together again, when I wonder idly what I will do with the time I have to spend, jingling heavy in my pocket, now that enjoyment is dead and utility should rush in to take its place ....

... the days of being, whether willingly or resigned or at all redeemable.

The lithium is supposed to make this go away.  I know it cannot, that nothing can make it go away forever, but it's supposed to anyway.  I know my job is to coast, my job is being.

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes the job of just being is the hardest job of all.
    Mona

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