August 9, 2018

which aisle has the sonic screwdrivers?

Israeli-Palestinian
conflict?  No problem.
I ran to the hardware store at lunch time today to buy the bug-light flood bulb .... flood-light bug bulb ... light-bulb flood bug ... whatever, one of those things that hornets don't hang around for fun.

While I was far along the light bulb aisle and looking through the umpty-million kinds of bulbs, an employee of the store more or less shouted down the aisle to me from the front of the store, "Ma'am, do you need any help today?"  I ignored him the first time, because there was no way he could possibly be speaking to me from that far away, but then he did it again, so I made long-distance arm gestures to indicate that I was fine.

Because a woman wearing a dress cannot possibly shop for light bulbs under her own power and capability.

I also bought a tie-out and stake for Molly and a tarp to go under her crate at the Lodge this weekend, since the piddle accidents have not exactly subsided.

I considered finding the light-bulb-shouting guy and dropping my handkerchief, though, when I walked every aisle and absolutely could not find a sonic screwdriver.

I thought that place had everything.

On my way to work this morning, it occurred to me that what happened last night didn't go the way it should.  It should have worked like a Dr. Who episode.

I was playing with Molly with this rope toy that has a ball of rope at the end.  It's proven one of her favorites.  And then I accidentally hit her with the ball bit in the face while trying to toss it.  She yelped and ran away from me, up the stairs and into P.J.'s waiting arms (she'd been watching the fun).

I waded through Trigger City mentally and went up the stairs, because I needed her to be okay with me in the next three seconds or something bad was going to happen in the Punishment Department.  And she did warm right back up to me, after some reassurance.  It upset Rose, too, of course, so much petting and high-pitched voices were involved.

I went back downstairs, mired in self-anger, and Rose came with me, and I told her under my breath, "Sure, Rose, come with me, let's see if I can find a way to hit you in the face."

The self-injury impulse was ferocious.  I stood up to it, and it had my sister's face, though it could have been Genghis Khan instead.  Lille screamed at her.  "Get out!  GET OUT!"

She didn't get out.  I just eventually calmed down.

The whole Dr. Who component was missing.  I have Matt Smith in mind.  The way it's supposed to work is this:  There's a problem plaguing a planet or a people or some large entity, and it's been there for a long time, and no one realizes what is causing the problem, but in the last ten minutes of the episode, Dr. Who discovers what it is, devises a solution, implements it, and everything is fixed.

The sonic screwdriver is usually involved.

Lille can't kick my cunt of a sister out of my head.  This has been plaguing me my entire life, causing me to self-injure for the past decade, causing me to look at my feet when I walk and verbally lash myself inside with "you're so fucking stupid" and feel like all of these things are in perfect order and just as they should be.

So we're at the part where Matt Smith comes in and uses his sonic screwdriver and my cunt of a sister disappears in a flash of light or a really terrible special effect with a green light that has pink behind it and makes her shrink away like a goo blob until she's gone.

It's the last ten minutes.  I know what's wrong now, what's been plaguing me.  Why isn't this episode wrapping up nicely and tidily like it does on TV?

2 comments:

  1. If only we could banish all of the assholes, etc. from our pasts and vaporize all of the harm they've created in our lives! If a sonic screwdriver can do that, then sign me up, I definitely want one!

    Mona

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  2. Mona, that might just be the answer to overpopulation on this planet! hee heee

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