May 10, 2018

julius caesar clue

The kid has a world history project due soon.  He has to make a board game using something historical, which opens up a lot of possibilities, since there's a lot of history.  He settled on Julius Caesar Clue as his game.  It's due soon and he's advanced to the "writing down some ideas" stage, but at least he's also thinking about what materials he'll need.  This brought us last night to the issue of Roman figurines and how the fuck to find some.

Naturally, I turned to eBay.  It has everything.  Everything.

While these looked promising, I stumbled across this set, and sent him the link for approval:



They were advertised as having "minor paint chipping".

Me:  "Sent u email re Roman figurines, minus the woman with the worn-off tit."

Him:  "Could I get the woman one for Calpurnia or Cleopatra?"

Me:  "Ummmmmm ... can we paint something over her exposed nipple?  It's a set."

Him:  "Yes.  My characters are Octavian, Cassius, Brutus, Cleopatra, Calpurnia, and Mark Antony."

Me:  "The one with dark hair and red cape in the back could be made female.  Ish."


So now we have to figure out how to femme out a centurion and also prevent the kid from being expelled from school by bringing a depiction of a cancer-hollowed breast exposed by a wardrobe malfunction.  These are really tiny, so I don't know how I'm going to manage a wig for the cross-dresser.  I've got to find some little scraps of cloth somewhere, too.

I don't "craft" at all.  I once e-mailed my best friend:  "Could you please come over here and do this diorama box for me?  Perhaps you could wrap it magically in some pretty cloth and secure that with a glue gun or some other craft-oriented apparatus.   I don't know.  Because all I've got right now is a fucking shoe box with dust on it, some Scotch tape, and an inside-out Trader Joe's bag that ripped down the middle, and I'm pretty much at a stopping place.  Kthx."

Crafts are activities designed for people who don't throw things after two instances of minor frustration.  The gods forbid paint is involved.  P.J. doesn't really let me near paint now.

The exposed Princess Leia-like leg is a nice touch, too.  She's very obviously not an Amazon.  Fine, the rear left soldier will have to be Cleopatra.  And the guy with the brown nose?  Brutus.

This might be the first Clue game that is actually interesting.

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