April 11, 2018

louise hay was a very positive person

Just like everybody else.
No, really, I mean what I said:  Fuck that affirmation shit.

A friend phoned me up yesterday to take the piss and present me, out of the blue, with a "life affirmation" from Louise Hay.  I'm pretty sure I told him to fuck off and hung up on him, but only in the most loving possible way.

He sent me another today, a photo of it, so I couldn't hang up on him.  I had to take a Zofran to ward off the nausea.


Okay ... I have been known to say that it doesn't really matter what a person adopts as their worldview, even if some or most of it is completely and against substantial proof incorrect.  If they do no harm, then they can have at it as seems best to them.  I apply this to pagans, to the religious, to conservatives, and sometimes even to positive people.  But the line has to be drawn somewhere, and I can't even see this woman, she's so far off in the distance and beyond the line.  Nor does all of this fall within the scope of "does no harm".

I had gone my whole life without knowingly reading her tripe.  Thanks, my friend.

From her official web site, a few snippets of drug-dream nonsense she wrote while riding on the back of a unicorn over a distant rainbow:

No, wait, I have to address the photo first.  The one of her gazing at stone-wall wildflower blossoms with an expression that makes her look either constipated or three sheets to the wind, or both.  What is even up with the matching enamel yellow earrings and bracelet?   I don't care if you were close to 90.  Just stop.  Chico's wants their costume jewelry back.

Sorry, back to the affirmations:

1.  Life loves me!

Life is not animate and does not have higher-level executive function capable of producing emotion.

2.  I am divinely guided and protected at all times.

I assume this includes time spent in the restroom?

3.  Only good can come to me.

Put spin on the flu.  Go ahead.  I'm listening.

4.  I am beautiful and everybody loves me.

I hear this in Cartman's voice, during his tea party with his stuffed animals, in the early seasons of South Park.

5.  I am safe in the Universe and All Life loves and supports me.

Somebody please re-animate a saber-toothed tiger.  Right now.

6.  I become more lovable every day.

This is called dementia.

7.  My life gets more wonderful every day.

See number six.


Absolute refuse.  (I re-discovered the word "refuse" by Googling "rubbish synonym".)  The sort of stuff you'd find in God's Little Coffee Table Book.  I keep seeing people trudging along the sides of our highways carrying all their worldly possessions in a backpack, or people in third-world countries hauling skins of water while flies land on them, and then I read these and wonder where on the planet she holed up in order to produce delusional personal bliss.

Hay House Radio, live stream:  I dare you.

What I do not understand is why others pay money to read these.  Why is she revered?  Who can look around at the world and then turn and swallow all of this?

There are people in my life right now, people I love and respect, who will gently chastise me for writing this and who will point out that positive thinking can do a person good, help them change from within.  And maybe I'll go along with that, since I already think it's arbitrary and since I'm probably delusion anyway at this point, given all my other facets of mental illness.  Why the hell not?

Here, let me try one:  I am surrounded by a field of positive energy and all my movements are one with the Universe.

Hey, did that sound good?  Can I have some money now?

They say it's wrong to speak ill of the dead, so I'll say something positive about Ms. Hay:  At least she can't write any more of this stuff.

p.s. Some actual real, non-unicorn-riding affirmations can be had in Jenny Lawson's coloring book, You Are Here.  Even I can stomach these.  They're good stuff.

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